This morning, I woke up with an overwhelming heaviness in my heart and a sense that I needed to reach out and connect with you right now – before I could go on with my day.
Recently, I’ve been overwhelmed by the number of requests from readers struggling under immense pressure, many of whom seem to be slipping into survival mode without even realizing it. This morning it hit me like a tidal wave and I knew I had to write a personal letter to each of you who are struggling right now.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and unsure how to cope, I want you to know that I hear you.
I understand the overwhelming weight of the news cycle. Here, in South Africa and around the world, we are constantly bombarded with news that can be deeply unsettling. Every day seems to bring new headlines about rising unemployment, persistent power outages, corruption, crime, chaos and soaring prices. These local issues are compounded by a broader, more pervasive sense of global instability.
The current USA election cycle is no doubt adding to our collective stress, while wars raging all over the world, and a climate crisis, paint a picture of a world teetering on the edge. It’s as if every day is a new chapter in a never-ending list of crises, and it’s no wonder that so many of us are feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. This constant stream of bad news can push anyone to their limits.
It’s easy to feel like the ground is shifting beneath your feet. The constant exposure to negative news creates a sense of instability and uncertainty.
This overwhelming feeling can trigger a state of survival mode—a mental and emotional state where you’re just trying to get through the day without being completely overwhelmed.
So today I wanted to talk to you about Survival mode – what it is and how it can manifest in many ways, from constant anxiety and emotional numbness to a mental fog that makes it difficult to focus on anything other than immediate threats.
What is Survival Mode?
Survival mode is a natural response to stress, but it’s not meant to be a permanent way of living. When you’re in survival mode, you might feel:
- Constant Anxiety: Always on edge, worrying about what bad news will come next.
- Emotional Numbness: Shutting down emotionally to protect yourself from feeling overwhelmed.
- Mental Fog: Struggling to focus on anything other than immediate threats.
This state is your mind and body’s way of protecting you in short bursts of crisis. However, living in this heightened state for too long is exhausting and unsustainable.
Survival mode is like an emergency generator that kicks in during a power outage. It’s not meant to be a long-term solution, but rather a temporary measure to help you get through a crisis. However, when you’re constantly in survival mode, your body and mind are in a perpetual state of high alert, which can be draining and damaging over time.
Living in Survival Mode Is NOT Sustainable
Living in survival mode takes a heavy toll on your well-being:
- Chronic Stress: Constant stress weakens your immune system, making you more susceptible to illnesses and chronic conditions. It also contributes to issues like hypertension, heart disease, and digestive problems.
- Emotional Burnout: Over time, you might find it harder to feel joy or connect with others, leading to loneliness and depression. Emotional numbness can make it difficult to enjoy life’s pleasures or find meaning in daily activities.
- Strained Relationships: Being constantly on edge can cause misunderstandings and conflicts with loved ones, further isolating you. It’s challenging to maintain healthy relationships when you’re in a perpetual state of stress and anxiety.
Survival mode might help you get through a short-term crisis, but it’s not a sustainable way to live. It can make you feel like you’re just going through the motions, barely getting by rather than truly living.
This is why it’s absolutely crucial to recognize when you’re stuck in survival mode and take steps to break free from it.
The Solution is building mental strength & Resilience… but how?
This moment in the news cycle feels like day after day, blow by blow, we are being attacked. But there’s a key to breaking free from this cycle of stress: resilience.
Unlike survival mode, which makes us weaker, resilience makes us stronger.
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity and maintain your mental and emotional health despite the challenges you face. It’s about finding ways to adapt, grow, and even thrive in the face of difficulties.
Resilience isn’t just about enduring tough times; it’s about developing the capacity to recover and even emerge stronger from challenges. And it’s about actively working to keep yourself mentally fit and emotionally balanced. It involves building mental and emotional strength, so you can handle stress more effectively and maintain a positive outlook even when faced with adversity.
Your life is incredibly precious, and I urge you to take this message to heart. Treat your well-being as a responsibility that you owe to yourself. It’s important to take care of yourself and make your well-being a top priority.
This one precious life of yours deserves all the love and attention you can give it. By focusing on your mental and emotional health, you’re taking a crucial step in honoring yourself. Please know that you are worth every effort you make to feel better and to stay strong.
So I’ve put together 12 steps – a little toolkit – for you to follow.
Here’s how you can begin to build resilience in 12 steps and protect yourself from the negative impact of the news cycle:
1. Limit your news consumption:
I know it can be incredibly difficult to unplug from the constant stream of news, especially when it feels overwhelming. It’s important to approach this with self-compassion and make gradual changes. Try to limit your news consumption, especially before bedtime. Constant exposure to negative headlines can keep you in a state of heightened stress. By limiting your news intake, you protect yourself from the draining impact of perpetual negativity. Instead, focus on content that uplifts or informs without leaving you anxious or exhausted.
2. Stay present:
I understand that practicing mindfulness or meditation can feel daunting, particularly when your mind is racing. It’s essential to be gentle with yourself and ease into these practices slowly. Engage in activities like meditation or deep breathing exercises to stay grounded. Mindfulness helps you concentrate on the present moment, steering your mind away from future worries or past regrets. This shift in focus allows you to savor the small joys in life and find calm amidst chaos.
3. Journal gratitude:
In the Dreyer household, we have a golden rule: never go to sleep on bad news, as it can disrupt your rest and perpetuate a cycle of negativity. As part of my bedtime routine, I take a moment to reflect on the positive aspects of my day and write down the things I’m grateful for. This simple practice shifts my focus from the negative to the positive, helping me end the day on a hopeful note. By doing this every day, you wire your brain to find the silver linings by default.
It’s not always easy to find the time, and often, it doesn’t feel like I’m doing anything particularly important or groundbreaking, but for me, I know that it’s as important as brushing my teeth.
4. Take it from history: Know that this, too, shall pass
Looking back at history can be incredibly reassuring when facing tough times. History shows us – again and again – that communities have consistently found ways to rise above their challenges. History shows us that dark times eventually give way to periods of growth and renewal, and the lessons they teach us lay the groundwork for long-term improvements and shapes a better future for us all in the long-term.
5. 5 Memoirs that showcase human resilience
I believe that reading memoirs and stories of people who have overcome tough times can also strengthen our mindset. Memoirs can provide a powerful source of inspiration, showing us how others have navigated their toughest challenges and emerged stronger.
Here are some memoirs that we have found particularly helpful:
- “Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood” by Trevor Noah – This memoir details Noah’s experiences growing up during the apartheid era in South Africa, highlighting his resilience and humor in the face of adversity.
- “Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail” by Cheryl Strayed – Strayed’s memoir chronicles her solo hike along the Pacific Crest Trail as a means of healing and self-discovery following personal losses and struggles.
- “When Breath Becomes Air” by Paul Kalanithi – Written by a neurosurgeon facing terminal cancer, this book reflects on life, death, and the search for meaning.
- “Educated” by Tara Westover – This memoir explores Westover’s journey from growing up in a strict and abusive household in rural Idaho to earning a PhD from Cambridge University.
- “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl – Frankl’s reflections on his experiences as a Holocaust survivor offer profound insights into finding purpose and resilience amidst extreme suffering.
6. Practice Self-Compassion:
Practicing self-compassion is so important – especially during tough times. Be kind to yourself, accepting where you are in this moment. Give yourself the space & permission & compassion you need to feel your feelings without judgment. Know that it’s okay to not be okay.
Struggling is a part of being human, and by treating yourself with the same kindness and empathy that you would offer a friend, you can ease the burden of your emotions and find a more supportive path through your challenges.
7. Get creative:
Creativity can be a powerful tool for managing stress and expressing your emotions. Engaging in creative activities, whether it’s writing, painting, or playing music, allows you to channel your feelings into something positive and fulfilling. Creativity not only offers a break from daily stress but also provides a way to connect with yourself and your emotions. Finding a creative outlet that brings you joy can be incredibly therapeutic, helping you process your experiences and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.
8. Reach out to your friends and family.
Connecting with friends and family can be incredibly comforting during tough times. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can provide a sense of relief and offer a fresh perspective on your situation. Sharing your struggles allows you to release pent-up emotions and gain valuable insights from others who care about you. Social support plays a crucial role in emotional well-being, helping you feel less isolated and more understood. When you reach out, you invite others into your experience, which can foster deeper connections and strengthen relationships. Remember, it’s okay to lean on others and seek support—doing so is a sign of strength and self-awareness.
9. Engage in Community:
Getting involved in community events or volunteering can significantly impact your mood and overall sense of purpose. It provides a welcome distraction from personal stress and also fosters a sense of belonging and connection. Helping others can boost your own emotional well-being, as acts of kindness and service often lead to a greater sense of fulfillment. Community involvement can be a powerful source of resilience, offering both social support and opportunities for personal growth. By contributing to the well-being of others, you also enhance your own sense of purpose and make a positive impact on those around you.
10. Exercise regularly:
Regular physical activity is one of the most effective ways to improve your mood and manage stress. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters that help reduce feelings of anxiety and depression. Beyond the immediate benefits of a better mood, regular exercise contributes to long-term health improvements, such as increased self-esteem, better sleep, and enhanced overall well-being. Incorporating exercise into your routine can also provide a sense of accomplishment and routine, which can be especially beneficial during times of stress. Whether it’s a brisk walk, a yoga class, or a more intense workout, finding an activity you enjoy can make staying active a rewarding part of your life.
11. Eat healthily:
For most of us, when you’re stressed out, all you want to do is reach for a greasy bag of chips – but a balanced diet is essential for supporting both your physical and emotional health. A diet rich in nutrients can stabilize your mood and provide the energy you need to cope with daily stressors. Eating a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins helps ensure your body and mind function optimally. By prioritizing healthy eating habits, you can boost your family’s overall well-being and create a solid foundation for managing stress and maintaining resilience.
12. Reach out for support:
If you’re finding it hard to manage stress and are feeling overwhelmed, I encourage you to reach out for support. As a psychologist, I am here to offer compassionate guidance and support to help you develop a stronger mindset and healthier coping strategies. We offer zoom calls if you live out of reach of our practice.
Remember that seeking help is a courageous and essential step towards taking care of yourself. You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Reaching out is a sign of strength and self-care, and it’s an investment in your well-being.
If you are feeling hopeless or in crisis, it’s important to seek help immediately. You can reach the Suicide Crisis Helpline at 0800 567 567.
Slipping into survival mode is not the answer.
As we get through these challenging times together, I want to leave you with a heartfelt message from me and my family, the Dreyers. We understand how tough things can be, and we want you to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. We are sending you strength, hope, and encouragement to help you face each day with resilience and courage.
A strong mindset will do more for you than getting you through today – it’s about coming out stronger on the other side.
Let’s get through the second half of 2024 stronger
I am making a conscious decision to choose resilience over resignation, hope over despair, and connection.
I hope that you will find strength and hope amidst the chaos.
I believe in your ability to overcome difficulties and emerge stronger.
With warmest wishes,
PS: If this message resonates with you, please consider sharing it with others
